Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
