He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
