have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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