chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
