hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
