that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
