if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
