i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
