Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Drake has all the answers
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
