2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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