My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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