guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The Olympian is in my bed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
