We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
