Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
