my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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