Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
