if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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