so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
