I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
