The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm too high and old for this...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
