You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
