i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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