I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
