Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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