Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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