the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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