Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
