can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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