Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You are a genius and a whore.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
