Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
