So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
