Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
