my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
