i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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