so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
