Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
