Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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