I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
