i need an iv and a liver transplant
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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