Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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