I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
