I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
