i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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