u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
