Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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