Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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