I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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