This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
