Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
