i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
