New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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