I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh god was she eating orange peels again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
