Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
