Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
After last night, I could never be a politician.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
