i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
