i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
